Sunday 19 July 2009

Me and Orlando Bloom

There's just two degrees of separation between me and Orlando Bloom. It's not that exciting, to be frank - now, Colin Firth, that would be a different story - but it was remarkable that I discovered this fact on a remote cattle station in the South Australian Outback, after a day spent largely off-track, chasing emus and rescuing one from certain death.

I was with Geoff Scholz and his wife Rene, having spent two nights in a fancy safari-style tent at his Kangaluna Camp just outside the Gawler Ranges National Park. He'd shown me all around, the stromatolite fossils, the ochre pits used by the local Aborigines, swarms of kangaroos, tumbles of ancient rhyolite rocks like discarded pencil stubs; we'd had picnics, campfires and I'd looked at Saturn's rings on his fancy remote-controlled telescope; and now we were headed to Port Augusta.

We stopped at Lake Gairdner on the way, a dazzling white salt lake ringed by purple hills with a huge blue sky above - and didn't have it to ourselves. There was some sort of filming going on, a fashion shoot for David Jones, the outfit's French chef (!) told us.

And then we got to this cattle station, Mt Ive, which was like a little settlement with camp ground and cabin accommodation adjoining the homestead, and Joy told us that the shoot people were staying there, including Miranda Kerr, the fashion model and Orlando's current squeeze. And that he, Olly, had got Joy out of bed that morning at 4.45am, phoning from London and wanting to speak to Miranda. He apologised for being dim about the time difference and then rang again twice later, each time not catching Miranda and finally asking Joy to tell her that he loved her.

I would leave all this sort of thing to the gossip mags, but it was just so bizarre, to be so far away from even the civilisation (ha!) of Port Augusta, and to be in almost-contact with the former Legolas.

Then again, a couple of days later I drove my hire-car through a scene of Road Train, a movie being filmed at Wilpena Pound, much to the distress of the crew. But that's another story...

And so is the emu rescue.


the queen said...

I never saw the appeal of Orlando as Legolas. He does not look good as a blonde.

TravelSkite said...

But the pointed ears are fine by you?

I'm sure he's a lovely boy, but he's a little androgynous for my taste. I prefer a bit more testosterone.


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