Thursday 21 April 2011


The Pied Pilferer was at it again last night. He'd popped in for a snack during the afternoon, but I disturbed him (and him, me) though I wasn't fast enough to trap him. I heard the catflap door go again at about 2.30am and, having set it to In Only, leaped out of bed, disturbing skinny old Toby, who was snoring peacefully next to me, under the covers, head on the pillow.

The PP is no fool, however: the bang was his insouciant exit, having sneaked in quietly, had his fill of expensive biscuit and, no doubt sneeringly, deftly hooked open the flap with his claws to make good his escape. And this time, to add insult to injury, he sprayed before he left, so that I returned, thwarted, to bed to lie awake for hours a) plotting his downfall and b) choking on the powerful pong of cat-pee.

It's looking like a win for the feline at this stage. My only chance is, having moved our cats' food to the other end of the house, if he finds his way to it, I'm more likely to be able to get between him and the exit - if so, it's going to be a spectacular stand-off, and I wouldn't put any money on the outcome. (Note to self: Buy more Bandaids.)

Cat pee. I once went to a lion park up north that wasn't officially open to the public yet because the animals weren't in their proper enclosures, and were still in smaller pens with only one layer of netting between us and them. I did resist the temptation to poke my finger through the wire, but managed to come off worse anyway when the very stately lion - on which Aslan in The Lion, the Witch etc movie was modelled - looked at me disdainfully, turned around, lifted his tail, and let fly.

"Oooh! Buy a lottery ticket: that's very good luck!" said the Lion Man (who, incidentally, had refused an interview, saying he wasn't interested in media coverage - and about a year later had his own TV series). Yeah, right. The cats and the dog weren't very impressed when I got home, that's for sure.

This tiger cub at a zoo in Kuala Lumpur was much friendlier - or would have been, I'm sure, if he'd been awake. I hope he wasn't drugged...

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